Sunday, 29 May 2016

Sunday, Day of Rest

Sunday started by being awoken by a slamming door. I got up to investigate, and J was in the living room, emptying many of his toys out from a shopping bag.

I asked him, "what are you doing?"

Without turning around, he said, "I'm playing with my toys."

The Day of Rest had begun.
If you like images like this, I probably hate you.
When I came back to our bed, R was there, as he had been since 3am, except now he was awake. After asking "to see photos of him as a baby on my iPad", because we have raised a narcissist, we then got up for breakfast.

R was cold, and was told by his mum: "you have cold hands, let's put on your dressing gown."

He responded by suggesting he should wear gloves. And if we didn't have any, "nanna could buy some gloves for next time".

He then escalated to a tantrum. No dressing gowns were worn this day.

At breakfast there were tantrums on: preferred breakfast cereal, R screaming "J wants a different plate" while J happily uses his current plate, and "daddy eating pancakes wrong".

After breakfast and getting dressed, the boys played happily... for about ten minutes, before getting into trouble for jumping on the lounge that doesn't have a cushion on it.
 Pictured: my courtyard.

It doesn't have a cushion on it because last weekend the boys emptied a bottle on sunscreen on the cushion. We took the cushion cover off, and after attempting to draw out the stain by using so much bicarb soda that our courtyard still looks Tony Montana's desk in Scarface, the stain remains. Also, the zipper is now broken.

The next forty-five minutes was a mix of fighting and playing that looked exactly like fighting. In hindsight, it might have been all fighting.

We then went to a playground. R kept taking one shoe off because it had sand in it. The entire playground was built on sand, as well as bark and dirt. When he got hungry he rummaged through the bag and put everything from the bag in the sand, bark and dirt mixture. When I approached he said, "I stole this", while holding a banana. He peeled off all the skin, then ate about half of it, before handing it back to me.

Next we went to lunch, at a kid-friendly Italian place. R wanted to drink something with a straw, but not from his drink bottle with a straw. The restaurant had no straws. R did not like this. Later he cried because some cheese fell off his pizza so "it was broken". J then spilt water everywhere. Both managed to wipe one dirty hand all over their clothes while the other was getting cleaned.

Overall, it was an uneventful dining out experience.

On the ten minute drive home, R fell asleep. Time for a nap at home!

We took both boys shoes off, three of the shoes were full of sand. The other was fine, but the sock was covered in dirt and bark.

R then woke up between being moved from the car to his bed. The decision was made that everyone has a nap in mummy and daddy's bed!

Five minutes later I got up because J kept pinching my leg hairs between his toes.

I went outside to pull up grass. About a year ago, when our very small lawn became patchy, instead of looking into how we might repair it correctly, I hastily bought something call Lawn Extender for seven dollars at Bunnings and scattered it randomly across the yard. So now amongst our normal lawn we have clumps of tall wispy grass. It looks terrible.

Me pulling the wrong grass out of my lawn
So periodically, in an act of futility I go around the lawn and randomly pull up the offending grass.

At first I did this because as a boring middle-aged suburban man, having a pristine lawn had become my white whale. Literally nobody else cares about the lawn.

But now I feel like instead of being a frustrating obsession, it's relaxing, a form of meditation for someone who isn't particularly spiritual.

When I came back inside after forty-five minutes of lawn-pulling, the kids were bouncing all over our bed. I grabbed them to play in the living area. Despite having a ridiculous quantity of toys, they also decided to try to play with a manicure set.

After a whirlwind of attempting biting, crying about wanting to sleep, crying about not watching a movie, crying about sitting on the wrong side of mummy, some pinching and hitting, and J spilling another drink even though it had a lid, it was dinner time.

They ate dinner like champions. R then asked for "apple, with the skin!" He then ate the apple segment and threw the skin on the table because "I don't like skin".

In the bath, J tried to use his plastic toy boat as a drinking cup.

After the bath, R had a small rash on his leg, and threw a tantrum because "he didn't want that cream, he wanted the small cream." There is no small cream. There never has been.

At teeth cleaning, J cried hysterically because I put toothpaste on his toothbrush. It is actually easier to clean a toddlers teeth when they are crying because at least they open their mouth wide.

Then it was time for bed, J asked us both for "the sunshine song" (You Are My Sunshine). As we sung, he looked at us like this was the best thing ever, which is remarkable because I am very off-key. R randomly said to his mum, "you're the best mummy. I love you mummy."

I am looking forward to next Sunday.

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