Peppa Pig

We are big fans of Peppa Pig in my household. It even finished in first place in the Official ABC4Kids Power Rankings a few years ago.

Peppa, accepting the trophy
for top power ranking. 

I find it interesting that online Peppa Pig appears to be a polarising figure. Peppa is making your children naughty. She is teaching them how to swear. And guilty of fat shaming. She is also a left-wing feminazi. And so on.

I think Peppa is a fairly accurate portrayal of a pre-school aged kid. Nothing more. Expectations beyond that are unfair. Perhaps even ridiculous.

Especially as the main pig role model of my youth was Porky Pig. Now there's a bad influence! Oh, and the Three Little Pigs too - a story where two pigs are killed due to low availability of quality construction materials (and perhaps no council approval), before the third reaps vengeance with a torturous retaliatory murder involving boiling water.

But no, it's a whiny four-year-old pig that's a terrible influence on your whiny four-year old child.

Anyway, here are my top five favourite moments from the show...


5. Whenever Daddy Pig Goes To Work
It's not entirely clear what Daddy Pig does for a living, but he appears to be a civil engineer or something similar, based on some keys pieces of evidence.

Firstly, his role description sounds engineer-like:

"My job is quite complicated. I take big numbers,
transmute them, and find their load bearing tangent."

Secondly, he has a library book ten years overdue titled Adventures in Concrete.

Thirdly, he also draws up house blueprints in one episode. The house is built - "like this, but bigger" - and the new tenants are the Wolf family. They seem impressed that the house is made of bricks. Mr. Wolf cannot blow it down. He then asks Daddy Pig what his own house is made of.

"Bricks", says Daddy Pig, "so don't even think about it." Clearly Daddy Pig also grew up with the Three Little Pigs for role models.


4. When They Can't Get Baby Alexander To Sleep
Baby Alexander is Peppa's cousin. The family visit, and when the newborn wakes up in the middle of the night, Daddy Pig suggests a walk in the pram to re-settle him, leading to this classic husband-and-wife banter.

Go the f*ck to sleep, Baby Alexander.

"How many times around the house was it, Mummy Pig?", asks Daddy Pig. "Three times?"

"50 times!", is the cheerful response, through gritted teeth.

Cut to Daddy Pig wheeling a pram around the perimeter of the house in the dark.


3. When They Almost Chop The Tree Down
There is an episode where the vets pet tortoise gets stuck up the tree. Because if a bunch of mammals are going to act like humans, why not have a reptile act like a cat?

Anyway, Peppa's friend Susie Sheep suggests that to rescue the pet you need to "chop the tree down!"

She is ignored, and they call the fire brigade instead.

The fire rescue team ignore further calls to chop the tree down and get stuck up the tree during the rescue. In fairness it's Mummy Elephant and Mrs. Cow, so tree climbing was never going to be a strength.

So then Grandad Dog and his tow truck are called to rescue the tortoise and the fire department.

Susie Sheep once again yells, "chop the tree down!".

So Grandad Dog pulls out an axe.

The maniac would've chopped the tree, killing many people, except for the frenzied cries of the fire department from above.

Seconds before the near massacre.

2. When The Kids Celebrate International Day
All the kids are dressed up as stereotypes for different countries for "International Day" at playgroup, and there are at least three really clever political jokes.

Firstly, when they are in the playground, the narrator describes that "the United Kingdom is on the slide". Tracking the rise and fall of the British Empire, this is hard to argue.

Secondly, a fight breaks out in the sandpit, and is started by the United States.

First Iraq, then Afghanistan, then Iraq again, then Syria,
 and now this.

The fight is only resolved by the preschool teacher Madam Gazelle asking, "is this how you think the countries of the world behave?". There is no pause to linger on the question.


1. When Peppa Pig Can't Whistle
Perhaps Peppa really is a bad influence?