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| From when they went to outer space. You've never been? |
1.
In the last instalment, I ended with a story about dogs.
Not long after that, R reiterated to me his dislike for man's best friend. After J suggested once again we should get a dog, R exclaimed, "I don't want any animals in my house!"
A few minutes later he did indicate he wouldn't mind a pet monkey. It's his favourite animal, because "monkeys are cheeky, like me."
But J still likes dogs best. Well giraffes are his favourite, but he knows that isn't a feasible pet.
After seeing one walk by - a dog, that is, not a giraffe - mum asked, "what did you think of that dog?"
"I like it, but I'm getting a dog with spots on its back, and spots on its tummy!" I think he wants a Dalmatian.
"Where are you getting it from?"
"The dog man, he's going to come with his dog truck," he explained. Then he added, "the end."
A few weeks later, when we reminded J about the dog truck, R interrupted. "Your dog will get old and it will die," he said.
2.
It's not just on animals where the views of the twins diverge. Consider their planned career paths. R told us he wants to be an astronaut. I then asked J what he wanted to be when he was grown-up. He said, "Iron Man".
3.
J likes robots as well as superheroes.
We were on the train into the city for work and childcare when he turned to his mum and said, "push my buttum!"
He says buttum, instead of button, for some reason. It's cute.
So mum pushed his chest and his arms moved up and down. He repeated, "push my buttum!". This time he roared like a dinosaur.
And so it went, until the sixth buttum press led to a kiss and cuddle.
4.
Having covered his future job, R seems to also have the carers side covered. He came out with two of his stuffed animal toys. "Dada, do you know teddy and gorilla are twins? And I'm their dad."
I asked, "who's their mum?"
"She died. From tonsillitis." My wife had just recovered from a bout of tonsillitis. I didn't think it was that serious.
5.
When R is not parenting his toys, he sometimes parents me.
One morning when I was leaving for work, as I was shutting the front door behind me, I heard him call out: "I love you dad! If you get into trouble just come home!"
This was followed by laughter from mum.
Mum definitely wins the popularity stakes. Another time R said to me, "I love you, just not as much as mum." I must've looked disappointed, because he then said, "you're still pretty awesome!"
6.
R still cannot make it to dinner without a nap. Meanwhile we had to ask childcare to stop letting J sleep in the day, as he then wasn't going to bed until 9pm or sometimes later.
When R is tired he starts whinging and there are a lot of tantrums. But when J is tired he gets loud and manic.
An example of this was the first time we picked him up when he didn't have a sleep at school. Mum asked, "did you have a sleep?"
He yelled back, "the teacher asked me if I wanted to sleep, I said no. So then the teacher said, do you want to not sleep. I said.. ALL RIGHT! It's because I'm a big kid now. They asked me."
7.
Another time on the childcare pickup, R wanted to wear his hat. It was dark outside. I said, "you don't need you hat, it's not sunny."
He said, "I'm just wearing it to look more cool."
8.
Usually we catch the train to childcare, but one time we drove home instead. I thought this might provide an opportunity for them to better explain what they did at school. Instead, they were even more vague and confusing.
I knew from the daily update parents receive that J's small group was going through the Australian states. So I asked, "J, did you learn about Victoria and Tasmania?"
R replied, "he learnt about Tasmanian tigers".
After the usual routine of asking R whether he was J, and asking him who was I actually talking to, I repeated the question... "did you learn about Victoria and Tasmania, J?"
He replied, "did you call me Mania J? What's that?"
"No, I said Tasmania. Did you learn about Victoria and Tasmania?"
R interrupted, "what's Victoria?"
"Maybe J can tell us?", I said.
"Did you say Baby J can tell us?", J asked. "I'm not a baby. O is the baby!"
I'm not sure at this point if J is legitimately deaf or the most brilliant four-year old wind-up merchant in history.
"No, I said maybe J can tell us."
At this point the car drives up a hill, and R shouts, "I like going up hills. WEEEEEEEE!" It is worth pointing out that you normally get excited going down hills.
Then J says, "I'm not telling you about school."
9.
Now that they are four years old, they fight a lot about silly things. Recently they were arguing over what baby O's favourite colour is. He is 14 months old and doesn't talk.
10.
While they often fight, they also have each others backs.
I asked them if they needed to go to the toilet before we left home. Both said yes, but R got their first. J got annoyed. I said, "you'll have to wait, you were too slow."
J replied, "but I thought I was fast."
At this point R, who is sitting on the toilet with the door open, yells angrily, "you were not fast J! I was fast!"
This was about their six hundredth argument for the morning, so mum shouted out something about no more yelling or else.
The boys then continued arguing, just really quietly. This escalated to R getting off the toilet, walking up to J, and centimetres from his face whispering hoarsely, "you are too slow!"
So then I walked up and said in a normal tone, "right, leave each other alone."
Mum called out, "was that R again?"
R called back, "it was dad yelling, not us."
"Yes, dad did it," J agreed.
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