Stuff My Kids Say, Part 14

Welcome to the 14th update of Stuff My Kids Say. But first a pic of my three boys:

And they do have an Uncle Dave...

1.
R was upset at me because I wouldn't let him do something. He yelled, "if you were an adult, you'd let me do what I want!"

I laughed, because I'm thinking, it's because I'm an adult I won't let you do whatever you want.

Then before I could say anything further, he added, "you're not an adult, you're just a man who doesn't know anything!"

And now I'm thinking, shit, he's onto me!


2.
R's increased aggression isn't just verbal. He was having an argument with twin brother J when suddenly there's a loud scream.

"I was trying to kiss him and my teeth got in the way!", R said.

3.
Another day and another fight, and J has had enough.

Through clenched teeth he angrily says, "R, I've had enough. You go to a different family!"

4.
Sometimes they're not fighting, and instead they're thick as thieves.

I walked past them once and heard R saying to J, "no, you don't say that, you just say, you didn't do anything naughty. Okay?"

5.
We were watching Hey Duggee one morning - if I was ever to re-do the ABC Kids Power Rankings, that show will be first - and it was an episode with naughty monkeys that didn't know how to play calmly and tidy up after themselves. Although luckily Duggee has his playing badge and sorted it out.

Anyway, I said to R and J, "you guys are like those naughty monkeys!"

"We're not naughty monkeys!", J snapped.

"We're naughty people."

6.
More on play... the boys do soccer coaching every Friday, which normally ends with a 3 v 3 game.

After I got home from work, I asked R how it went.

"Good", he said, "but I don't want to be on J's team anymore because he always tackles me."

If you're thinking this is soccer tackling, you're wrong. It more like shoulder charging the other kids off the ball.

"J, your not supposed to tackle your own team mates!"

"I try not to tackle my team", he replied, "but sometimes my body can't stop itself."

7.
For O's second birthday, at childcare, they celebrated by making cornflake crackles to eat after singing Happy Birthday!. He also got wear a crown, which he made from cardboard, with bits of cellophane and coloured paper stuck on.

For whatever reason, on the train home R is wearing the crown.

"Milk!", he demands.

Mum says, "you don't get it if you ask like that."

"I am the king and I can get what I want", R replies.

8.
There are dramas on private transport too.

The elder two boys can now buckle their own seatbelts, with one of us just double checking it's tight.

So I asked J, "please put on your seatbelt."

"No thank you!", he said enthusiastically.

9.
Pre-schoolers offer a lot of unfair food critiques, but R occasionally manages to provide accurate feedback.

Eating tacos one night, he whined, "this sour cream is sour!"

10.
I was mucking around with the twins one day, pretending I can't tell them apart.

"We're not identical!", J said. And he's right, but I still asked him how they were different as part of the teasing.

"I have my hair combed on the other side", J said.

"That's it?"

"And we are wearing different undies."