Official NRL Grub Rankings 2015 - Part One

“Grub” is a word I never hear or read, unless hearing or reading discussions about rugby league players, where it is perhaps the most overused term ever.

A player can be accused of being a grub for any number of reasons, ranging from dirty play bordering on criminality through to simply playing for the wrong (grubby) team. When a player is labelled a grub with evidence cited to support the charge of being the grubbiest player who ever grubbed, if you disagree, the most common defense is to exclaim “it's not his go!”. This normally leads to a stalemate in the debate and no clear determination of the player’s grubbiness.

It is a complicated issue.

This is why I have developed the official NRL Grub Rankings. I initially included forty NRL players often accused of grubdom, but have added another three that made late claims in the months since I started this project.

The countdown will be in three sections, from 43 down to 28 in this part, then 27 to 12, before getting to the top 11 in the third and final instalment.

Before we start the countdown, it is also worth noting that grub rankings only refer to footy related grub behavior, not any off-field indiscretions relating to grubby personal behavior.

It is also interesting that most grubs appear to also be among the best players. There are two possible reasons for this:

1. The same drive and competitiveness that leads a player to be great also leads them to push the boundaries and behave grubbily.
2. Great players are more closely scrutinised and therefore more regularly accused of 'grub acts'. 

I think it is likely a combination of both.

Group 1: IT'S-NOT-HIS-GO

Giving these guys the benefit of the doubt

43. Will Hopoate

I just included Hoppa Jr. to talk about his old man, the undisputed grubbiest player since the NRL kicked off in 1998.

Of course, Hoppa Sr. lives in infamy for the unsavoury move that takes his name and transcends rugby league, but this wasn't an isolated grub occurrence. The season before he was charged with 'contrary conduct' for ten different incidents in one match. And after, the embarrassment and shame around his sacking from the West Tigers for his busy fingers didn't curb his behavior when given a lifeline by his original club Manly. He would be suspended for abusing a touch judge, forced to apologise for abusing a ball boy, and fined for breaching his contract to play a 5^th grade rugby match under a false name.

His career ended in 2005 following a 17-week ban for a 'shoulder charge' gone wrong, which is an apt description for the incident only if you define a shoulder charge to be jumping into the air with your elbow cocked. 

42. Darius Boyd

When I did some Internet research, like I'm a serious journalist or something, I was surprised how often Boyd came up as a 'grub'.

I think he's just really annoying.

Even after the Australian Story profile turned him into a sympathetic character, he still looks smug on-field, and he still forges a successful representative career on the back of doing nothing except catching balls from Inglis and running 5m untouched to score in the corner.

41. Thomas Burgess

40. George Burgess

Nothing really sticks out yet for the Burgess twins, but older brother Sam has some form, and it wouldn't surprise to see his younger siblings rocket up the rankings in future seasons.

Perhaps Sam's most impressive grub achievement was the 2013 season - in one year, he managed to get suspended for high shots for both club and country, a crusher tackle, and the infamous squirrel grip. Plus in the previous season he got suspended for a grapple tackle.

After all this, he went to the media and said he wasn't a dirty player!

39. Robbie Farah

He did push Thurston in the face during the Origin series this year, and it's hard to believe you can be involved in the ruck as much as Farah is without employing a few other dirty tricks from time to time. Yet this is a guy people thought wasn't an Origin player, which is basically code for not being a grub. Hard to rate him higher then. Even if his own coach can’t stand him.

Group 2: “NOT-HIS-GO” **wink**

I can understand the not-his-go argument, I'm just not convinced it applies

38. Daly Cherry-Evans

Nothing is grubbier than money. Therefore DCEs contract manipulations, while legal, leave him with a borderline grubby reputation. He hasn't endeared himself since – whether through his media comments, his misspelt first name, or his smug punchable face. Also many of his teammates don't like him. When you consider some of the character references of players that don't have issues with teammates...

37. Jamie Lyon

The only off-field footy thing viewed more grubbily than reneging on a contract like DCE, is walking out on a contract like his club captain Lyon did with the Eels. He also spent a number of years refusing to play for New South Wales despite being the best centre eligible under the qualification criteria, aside from Greg Inglis of course. No doubt this questionable loyalty raises questions of grubbiness. He also is one the competitions premier whingers to referees.

36. Corey Parker

Another serial whinger, his best work was asking an opposition player to show him some respect in Origin. Just because you have grey hair doesn't mean you have to act like a senior, Corey. The only way Parker could sound more old is if he called Klemmer a 'whippersnapper', yelled for him to get off his lawn, then make an unwittingly racist remark.

In the next match, Parker took the matter of respect into his own hands by allegedly biting Paul Gallen. There are also persistent rumours that his own teammates don't like him.

35. Greg Inglis

Whether the shoulder charge should be banned or not is a tired debate, but perhaps the strongest argument for banning it altogether is that there are still people who think there was nothing wrong with this:

Inglis also became the face of the Melbourne Storm salary cap scandal though managing to obtain a speedboat on top of his super-illegal contract deal. That was after becoming the face of State of Origin selection criteria farce by representing Queensland for seemingly no other reason that he felt like it.

A lot of controversial stuff seems to revolve around Inglis.

34. Jesse Bromwich

A late entrant to this list after allegedly biting Josh Dugan in round 20 this season. He was cleared, and while I don't know if his defense was truthful I actually find it plausible – there are hands in faces all the time in the NRL, and it's not surprising if in trying to breathe a hand or finger might occasionally get chomped on.

On the other hand, Bromwich is arguably the best front-rower in the comp these days, and you can't consistently make 30 tackles and 150 run metres without grubbing it up. 

33. Russell Packer

Packer once did a piss on the field. Although I guess your options are limited in that situation.

32. Martin Kennedy

I don't know what's worse about Martin Kennedy – that he was busted taking performance enhancing drugs, or that he was busted taking performing enhancing drugs after performing so poorly for the Broncos that he basically stole his contract money.

Group 3: EGG

Huge grub potential, but could still develop into something else

31. Josh Papalii

Papalii rose to prominence in 2012 by laying a couple of late cheap shots on Gallen from the blindside in a finals match. Here was the young cocky grub taking onan alpha grub, who when faced with a taste of his own medicine, cried to the media.

I don't think Papalii has lived up to this early grub promise, although perhaps the Raiders lack of television matches means I'm just not seeing it. His latest incident was being cited for an alleged shoulder charge that was actually a head clash. It hardly seems the wrap of a bad boy, more a clumsy oaf. 

30. James Tamou

This year after Origin 1, Tamou called out Queensland for their dirty cheap shots and other grub acts. In Origin 3, he nailed Jacob Lillyman with a blatant swinging arm.

29. Konrad Hurrell

This is how not to run, unless the plan is to smash the opponents jaw into many pieces:

28. Martin Taupau

Another late entrant to the list after a swinging arm in round 20. He followed it up with some loose-cannon stuff in the post-incident pushing and shoving, like pretending to bite someone's fist then laughing like a maniac. See this vine.

This got him ten minutes in the sin bin, a confusing decision as you can't be binned for a swinging arm, and you shouldn't be for acting crazy without actually doing anything in a melee either. He also copped a three-week suspension.

Taupau is also responsible for the most vicious non-grub act of the year, when he decided to treat Souths fullback Alex Johnston as a speed bump, just because he could, as he was clearly going to score anyway.