Soccer

What a week for the round ball game. Liverpool! Spurs! Marrickville Red Devils U6's Navy!

Yes, we have recently entered the world of Saturday morning sport.

Oh yeah, there's a World Cup on! So here's an All-Time Socceroos XI, instead of any topical content.

And by "All-Time", I actually mean all the time Rob's Blog has watched soccer.

And by "Socceroos XI", I definitely mean wearing these jerseys:

BRING THEM BACK!

But before we get to the greatest Australian team ever assembled, I should state that I had planned to write something leading into the World Cup, like a real media outlet would, but in the end my lack of interest in the event overcame my imagined sense of journalistic obligation.

While I'm sure the World Cup will grow on me like a benign tumour over the next month, I have also thought about why I don't care right now.

Is modern soccer too much of a business? Is it ethical reservations about hosting a World Cup in an authoritarian state like Russia? Are Australia just too ordinary?

In the end, I just decided I've reached my capacity for being interested in things. It used to be easy to follow ALL OF THE SPORTS, then I got older and other things have arisen to be interested in... fun things, like my children and all the stuff they do, and also boring things, like paying a mortgage, but they are all important things.

So now I don't follow ALL OF THE SPORTS, just SOME OF THE SPORTS. And soccer has been pushed out of my brain, like that time Homer Simpson took the wine-making course and forgot how to drive.

And so with the excuses out of the way, here is my All-Time Socceroos XI...

I Hate Your Footy Team

This is a ranked list of how much I hate all the clubs from the two major footy codes in Australia* and why.

The original title for this column.
But it turned out it was already taken.

Footnote:
*Sorry, rugby and soccer, you aren't major in Australia - come back when you get some commercial free-to-air coverage.

Malcolm Turncoat and the Seagulls Fighting Over a Hot Chip

Today, Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull was part of an announcement that the AFL would play a premiership game in China.

This logo inexplicably exists.

The Rugby World Cup

The rugby union World Cup is almost here.

One thing we can all agree on is it's not some farcical joke like that silly rugby league world cup. This is the third biggest sporting event in the world - well, according to the International Rugby Board's own commissioned reports, and no other credible source or basic common sense. Plus loads of countries play and can win. In its history, the 20 finals spots have been taken up a massive 25 teams, of which four have won and five have made the final, way more than the three winners and four finalists in the rugby league world joke!

Most importantly, these are real national teams playing for real national pride. Not a bunch of Aussie and Kiwi mercenaries making up numbers.

So let's look at each team alphabetically and some of their most patriotic players:

Hot Sport Newz~! 24/08/15

In this edition:

• Five things about Jarryd Hayne in the NFL

Sport and Racism in Australia

I'm going to add my voice to the Adam Goodes "debate". I say "debate" in "inverted commas" because it shouldn't really be a debate.

This shit is racist.

Hot Sport Newz~! 26/07/15

In this edition:

• Blame It On The Nicky
• FIFA PUNK'D
• Sport for Nerds
• The Intolerant Hulk

Cold Sport Newz~!

Cold rather than hot because some of this is old newz~!

This edition features a selection of stuff I wanted to rant about over the last few months but it was too hard due to experiencing "technical difficulties" still not fully resolved.

(There will be a story about that debacle when it is fully resolved. Unless something radically changes, it's not going to be very favourable to companies represented in advertising by smug Irish backpackers wearing bad sweaters.)

Let's get to the newz~!

Hot Sport Newz~! 31/01/15

In this edition:

• Socceroos and the Asian Cup
• A Political Diversion
• Superb Owl Hot Tip!

Hot Sport Newz~! 22/01/15

In this edition:

• Anyone for Tennis?
• Words from Warner
• Deflategate