School Pickup

I was running late for school pickup. It is at the back gate, so they would be hanging out in the field waiting for my arrival.

Report Cards

In the last week of the school term, we received report cards for R and J.

This surprised us.

It seemed strange not to provide input into the written assessment of their academic performance. We were their main teachers for about 40% of the year to date.

I know at work, if I have to do a performance review for a new team member, I will seek feedback from their previous supervisor.

So here are my comments nobody asked for...

The Simpsons: 30 for 30 - Part Three

Like almost everyone else I stopped watching The Simpsons at least 15 years ago, but the show has still had a great influence on me and the stuff I say.

Nearly three years ago I drafted a list of my 30 favourite episodes.

About two and a half years later I finally finished PART ONE.

After a further six months, I've realised I'm never going to properly complete parts two and three. I blame COVID-19. Even for the four months of procrastination from November to March.

So instead I'm providing a very brief synopsis of each episode. Images are generated from the outstanding website frinkiac.com.

Here is PART TWO.

And once in a great while, we are privileged to experience an event so extraordinary, it becomes part of our shared heritage. 1969: Man walks on the moon. 1971: Man walks on the moon... again. Then, for a long time, nothing happened. Until now.

Presenting Part Three....

The Simpsons: 30 for 30 - Part Two

Like almost everyone else I stopped watching The Simpsons at least 15 years ago, but the show has still had a great influence on me and the stuff I say.

Nearly three years ago I drafted a list of my 30 favourite episodes.

About two and a half years later I finally finished PART ONE.

After a further six months, I've realised I'm never going to properly complete parts two and three. I blame COVID-19. Even for the four months of procrastination from November to March.

So instead I'm providing a very brief synopsis of each episode. Images are generated for the outstanding website frinkiac.com.

And now, without further Apu, here is Part Two... 

Review: Messenger Kids

Messenger Kids is a new app that is like Facebook messenger, but for kids. Duh.

Now let's forget about our troubles with a big cone of soft serve ice cream

I was working from home this afternoon, appropriately social distanced.

I hear the familiar tune of Greensleeves, which can only mean one thing:

MR. WHIPPY VAN~!

My twins wrote some books

My twin boys R and J are no longer satisfied with merely drawing pictures, they now have to add words as well...

Fortunately I only own nine books, so there is plenty of shelf space for their literary masterpieces.

Here is one example by each:

Giraffe

GIRAFFE

(a.k.a The Art Gallery V)

The other day the twins were refusing to do something they are definitely capable of doing.

This is how children work. They stubbornly want to do things when they can't, when it will cause you more work to fix their mistakes or mess. They then lose interest at the precise moment in time they can do it themselves.

In frustration, I said:

Why are you guys so hopeless? You're six. Do you know a baby giraffe learns to walk within minutes of birth?

J immediately replied:

Not Listening to the Hottest 100

At midday on Saturday I realised, hey isn't the Hottest 100 on now?

J J J

A quick online search confirmed that 25 January was the #changethedate. Then I decided to go ahead and listen to a bunch of music I've never heard before.

Maybe later, I could even come to the conclusion that all new music is shit because as a middle-aged man I don't like what a youth radio station is playing.

Of course, it was different when my parents did that. They were wrong about new music. This time, I'd be right...

Stuff My Kids Say, Part 23

10 STORIES OF CHRISTMAS EDITION~!

(Because I wanted it to be like the 12 Days of Christmas but couldn't get that many...)

Actual photo of my house lit up for Christmas.

Stuff My Kids Say, Part 22

The other day I called my wife. She answered while driving. The first thing I heard over the speaker was one of the twins yelling, "don't wee, penis!"

"He needs to go the toilet," she said.

It was at that moment I realised it was time to recap some of the shenanigans from the twins R and J, and toddler O too. Before we start, here is a recent picture of them, along with baby L:

The Simpsons: 30 for 30 - Part One

I read in the news today that The Simpsons might end soon.

Like almost everyone else I stopped watching at least 15 years ago, but the show has still had a great influence on me and the stuff I say.

So to mark about 30 years of Our Favourite Family, I've taken out of mothballs this list of the top 30 episodes I started drafting about two years ago.

The plan is for it to be three parts.

This is Part One. It has lay dormant, complete and unpublished, for about 18 months. I never got around to Parts Two and Three, but I'm confident news of the end will push me on to finish.

Images are generated from the outstanding website frinkiac.com. Video links are from YouTube, and may or may not be of questionable copyright status, so if you're reading this from the future and links are broken you'll know why.

Grammar Rodeo

GRAMMAR RODEO

A Real Conversation with Twin J

Pool Party

POOL PARTY

A Real Conversation with Twin R

Injuries

You can't just have a boring accident in my house.

One week ago, it started with a suspected poisoning...

Stuff My Kids Say, Part 21b

Some time ago, I wrote about Toddler O, and promised Part B about twins R & J soon after.

Then I got busy, then a mishap meant my almost finished draft disappeared, and then I got even more busy. And so, soon after became many weeks later.

It's been so long, that before we finally start, I thought I should provide a recent pic of the twins:

They grow up so fast

And now, stories...

Stuff My Kids Say, Part 21a

I now have so many children that I’ve broken the latest edition of Stuff My Kids Say into two parts: A and B.

Toddler O

Part A will focus on toddler O, who is three-years-old, which is a fun and funny age.

He's so funny right now that this blog could've had thousands of entries except for two things: firstly, it would be too long to read, perhaps requiring sub-parts [21a(i), 21a(ii), ...], and secondly, I've got haphazard with my recording of moments. There have been so many funny scenes recently where I've thought, I'll write that down later, and then I forget to do it, or I remember to do it but have already forgetton the detail.

But here are nine where I remembered everything!

Music Appreciation

We were doing a road trip and in conversation with the six-year-olds it somehow came up that the voice of Bluey's dad was once the lead singer in a popular band, and that Dad really, really liked this band.

This was all A Long Time Ago.

A Long Time Ago in our house is defined by circumstances such as:

• only having five TV channels, and not being able to pause any of them;
• telephones being attached to your house by a cord, except for the ones in a box on the street that need coins to work; and 
• watching movies on something called a VCR, or even a DVD.

The six-year-olds ask to hear Bluey's dad. I was happy to oblige.

The Art Gallery IV (Under The Sea)

I've shared my kids drawings a few times before.

I recently enjoyed this one by J, which he explained was "different sea creatures":

Let's examine it a bit closer, starting at the top left and going clockwise...

Stuff My Kids Say, Part 20

This is a late release of the second quarter best quotes for 2019!!