'MURICA~!

To celebrate the anniversary of the most influential democracy in the planet, here is a flag my son J drew about six months ago, when he was going through a weird phase of drawing different flags...

SPILL! SPILL! SPILL!!!

#LIBSPILL 2018

Like a B-grade horror movie, it's ugly and violent and terrible, yet you can't look away.

WATCH OUT, HE'S BEHIND YOU

Like the Melbourne Cup, it's the race that stops the nation, but in this case the cruelty to big, dumb animals is welcomed.

The following is completely apolitical - I'm not taking sides.

I'm simply treating all players with the respect they deserve, and scoring the week like a 12-round boxing match. But instead of three minute rounds, they go for about three hours.

It's the Moderates versus the Conservatives, the Broad Church EXPLODES~! It's Malcolm "President Trumble" Turnbull versus Peter "The Potato" Dutton, WHO WILL WIN?!

(It is actually Scott Morrison that wins, who is somehow both moderate and conservative. But we will get to that later.)

So, having said all that...

Tuck

A granfalloon is a proud and meaningless association of human beings - Kurt Vonnegut

I was checking out the news a few weeks ago, when I saw this headline:

"Hey, that's my last name!", my internal monologue cried.

And although I don't know Wendy, and I'm not aware of any blood relationship between us, I was irrationally pleased that someone I shared a surname with had achieved something newsworthy.

It was really stupid.

Maybe if my last name was Smith or Jones, I wouldn't have felt the same way?

Anyway in tribute to Wendy and her boat thing, here is a definitive list of the 10 most notable Tuck's ever.

It's a very proud and meaningless association of human beings. Credit to Wikipedia for most of the information and images.

The 5 Best Australian of the Year Awards

Two years ago, I looked at The 10 Worst Australian of the Year Awards.

But what about the best?

I'll limit it to a top five. Starting with a fine musician...

A Quick Note on the Legacy of the ex-Prime Minister of New Zealand

This is actually not about politics.

Instead, it is about food.

Tinned spaghetti pizza. With pineapple.

NRL Grand Final 2017

The NRL Grand Final this year wasn't an all-time classic like in 2015, nor did it come down to the wire and deliver a fairytale ending like 2016.

The best team all season clinically beat the outsider that had defied the odds to get there. There were no surprises.

In that sense, it reminded me a lot of the 1994 Grand Final, where Canberra beat Canterbury. Also the 1998 Grand Final, where Brisbane beat Canterbury. And of course, the 2014 Grand Final where Souths beat Canterbury.

That isn't to say there weren't some memorable moments in the game. My favourite moment from the 2017 Grand Final was this...

The Population Race

There was a wealth of interesting information in the Census release yesterday. The snippet that caught my eye was the population race between Sydney and Melbourne.

Election 2016: Australia Doesn't Decide

A diary about half paying attention to the election.

My First and Last Ever Angry Political Rant

The election campaign has been going for eight (working) days. Unfortunately it is scheduled to go for eight weeks.

I've had enough already.

Stop the ride, I want to get off.

Malcolm Turncoat and the Seagulls Fighting Over a Hot Chip

Today, Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull was part of an announcement that the AFL would play a premiership game in China.

This logo inexplicably exists.

Lockouts

I only heard about #casinomike today.

The 10 Worst Australian of the Year Awards

With the announcement tonight that David Morrison is the 2016 Australian of the Year, there have now been 61 Australian of the Year award recipients over 57 years*.

* There are four years where there were dual committees and dual winners, because nothing reflects Australia better than arguably her highest civic honour becoming the disorganised plaything of petty provincial rivalries.

Greatest country in the galaxy.

I thought about ranking all the winners in some colossal countdown, then after doing proper serious journalist research - that is, briefly consulting Wikipedia and Twitter - I realised how silly it was trying to decide whether, for example, Dick Smith is better than Robert de Castella. And who was Sir John Crawford anyway?

Yet while ranking everyone is pointless, it is clear that some award decisions are much, much better than others.

The following is a list of those others, counting down to the worst award decision:

Unconscious Sexism

It's not that surprising that cricketer Chris Gayle would demean Mel McLaughlin - he's done it to other female interviewers before, both in Australia and in the Caribbean. On his Twitter account he basically plays the role of Jamaican Hugh Hefner, but with much less literacy.

I can't relate to doing your job and having your work completely ignored so you can be propositioned, then when clearly uncomfortable at the advance, being called "baby" and having the initial comment repeated. Then to have work colleagues sniggering in the background and your employer initially play it for laughs before going into damage control much later. Then to have the person punished by his employer, who then excuses the behaviour as a cultural misunderstanding "said in jest".

I can't relate to that, because I'm a man.

Sport and Racism in Australia

I'm going to add my voice to the Adam Goodes "debate". I say "debate" in "inverted commas" because it shouldn't really be a debate.

This shit is racist.

Hot Sport Newz~! 31/01/15

In this edition:

• Socceroos and the Asian Cup
• A Political Diversion
• Superb Owl Hot Tip!