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| Pictured: R & J |
Earlier funny stuff: Part One and Part Two.
1.
The time R did this...
2.
That wasn't the first clothes-on-head-at-childcare incident. This is J, putting on his 'mask' to be "Spider-Man":
This is R, doing the same thing at home:
A few weeks after this, R was walking around the house scowling, "I am Spider-Man. And I'm coming to get you."
I said, "why would Spider-Man get you? He helps people. He's a superhero."
R paused to carefully to contemplate my words. He then looked at me and said, "Spider-Man isn't a superhero. He doesn't wear a cape."
3.
You have to be careful what you say with small children. For example, R and J now call their nappy rash cream, "bum cream". And whenever J has a runny nose, instead of asking for a tissue, he just says "Booger! Booger! Booger!" until you come and wipe it for him.
One time in the middle of the night, J called out for me. He was in obvious distress. I came into his room and said, "what's the matter matey?". He reached out for my hand, I went to hold his to comfort him, and he said "booger" as he wiped it across my outstretched palm.
4.
My boys are also notorious backseat drivers. They are always telling us we're going too fast, or going too slow. My wife once had to stop suddenly, and said "sorry boys!".
R lectured, "that's all right, but you have to be more careful next time."
I was driving out of the city during peak evening traffic, and was getting bombarded with questions "like why aren't we going?", and comments like "drive daddy!", when there were clearly stationary cars in front. I explain this, then happened to stop first at the red lights. As there were now no cars in my path, the same questions and comments started again. So I decided to explain the concept of traffic lights.
This was a mistake.
At the next traffic lights J is yelling, "it's green! Now it's orange!". These are not my traffic lights, as he's looking out the back door window at the cross street. Then as we're driving, it's "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! It's RED!". Again, he's looking at the cross street and I'm actually cruising through a green.
This only went on for the 55 minutes it took to drive home eight kilometres that day.
5.
I can't remember the reason, but we recently asked R who he was. He said, "I'm the the little boy that lives down the lane."
6.
J completed a puzzle of a chick hatching from an egg. He then said knowledgeably, "when a chicken hatches from an egg it turns into a beautiful butterfly."
7.
When the boys are in trouble we try the 'naughty corner' concept.
I realised it doesn't really work when they were showering together, having fun playing, and J suddenly turned to R and said, "you need to go to the naughty corner".
R then sat down in the corner of the shower, before saying "I want to come out and say sorry."
J replied by pushing out the palm of his hand and saying "not yet, sit there for two more minutes".
8.
A different shower experience saw J singing 'Simon Says' to himself.
He started, "Simon says, put your hands on your heads". And his hands went on the top of his head.
Next came, "Simon says, put your hands on your shoulders". And his hands went to his shoulders.
Then, "Simon says, put your hands on your...". He paused, thinking carefully about where to next. Then a smile. "... your DOODLE!". And his hands went.
He's not the only one taking a keen interest in those areas.
R was going to the toilet and told me, "mummy can't stand up a the toilet because she doesn't have a doodle."
9.
Both boys have learned the first letter of their names. They are always identifying "R" and "J" in random signs when out and about. There are always more R's of course, but it doesn't seem to bother J.
We were at Sydenham Station, waiting for the train to childcare and work. I was the one going to work. On the seat at the platform, R saw the word 'Sydenham' stenciled on it. He said, "there's no R there." I agreed. He then said, "we should draw one on". I strongly advised against this. Not only is it petty vandalism, but I've seen his handwriting, and it would've looked terrible.
R had a second idea. "We will buy an R from the shop tomorrow!" I laughed and tried to explain we couldn't do that either. He was unconvinced. "We just need some glue. Or a hammer."
10.
We were recently at the Concordia Club, a German community club near where we live. This is a fantastic place if you enjoy ridiculous meat portions accompanied by pickled cabbage and various stodge. The kids are also free to run around outside on the croquet fields.
After we had finished eating, I took J to the toilet. We came out, holding hands, then J suddenly slipped free. He ran a few metres and then started doing one of his silly walks in the middle of the dining area.
There could be no mistake, he was goose stepping across the German club.
R may want to graffiti the train station platform, but at least he isn't committing hate crimes.
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