Baby Names

There are thousands of good names for your baby. But half are ruled out by gender. Then most of the remaining half are ruled out too, because they don't work for you. And then most of what's left don't work for your partner.

And so you've now culled thousands of perfectly good names down to, like, one. And you're both not sure about it either.

It's very stressful picking a good name.

Here are a few suggestions I threw in there for naming my boys. They were pretty quickly thrown out. All are good names you should use instead.

Robert (Jr.)
Every prospective dad will at some stage suggest their own name for a male child. Unless it is family tradition, it will be done jokingly. But a small part of them will be hoping their partner gets on board.

I will have this conversation exactly three times in the future.

Nicholas
I didn't think this one through. You can't call a kid Nick Tuck.

That would be crazy.

Lachlan and Samuel
Both of these got serious consideration for kid #3 and were ruled out for similar reasons.

Lachlan is a very good and popular name but I couldn't have the two older boys yelling "WAKE UP LACHY!" at my newborn.

Didn't want the pet dog, dinosaur, octopus or pirate yelling it either.

Samuel was an early favourite name too, but I also really dislike Fireman Sam. And ever since I learnt Fireman Sam is an infidel, I'm relieved we went in another direction.

Preach love and tolerance, not hate, Fireman Sam.

Arthur and Albert
I was trying to predict with these suggestions which old-timey name would have a surge of popularity next, in the same way names like Thomas, William and Henry have gone from being retirement village names to the hottest names in the playground. I still think it's not too late for someone else to start the trend!

Rafferty
The first time my wife was pregnant she said she didn't want "boring names" but also "nothing too out there". 

I took this brief to mean that she simultaneously didn't want her child to share a name with others nor have a name that would single them out for attention.

Exactly what I was thinking.

I decided the only thing to do was to read a baby name book from A to Z.

When I finished the book, I arrived at the best male name in all the English language that met the criteria...

It is Rafferty. That's just science, case closed.

I still like it. And I have been told one day I can name a pet dog Rafferty. I'll go with Rufferty instead, because then it's a pun on the sound of a dog barking. And puns are hilarious.