Oh yeah, there's a World Cup on! So here's an All-Time Socceroos XI, instead of any topical content.

And by "All-Time", I actually mean all the time Rob's Blog has watched soccer.

And by "Socceroos XI", I definitely mean wearing these jerseys:

BRING THEM BACK!

But before we get to the greatest Australian team ever assembled, I should state that I had planned to write something leading into the World Cup, like a real media outlet would, but in the end my lack of interest in the event overcame my imagined sense of journalistic obligation.

While I'm sure the World Cup will grow on me like a benign tumour over the next month, I have also thought about why I don't care right now.

Is modern soccer too much of a business? Is it ethical reservations about hosting a World Cup in an authoritarian state like Russia? Are Australia just too ordinary?

In the end, I just decided I've reached my capacity for being interested in things. It used to be easy to follow ALL OF THE SPORTS, then I got older and other things have arisen to be interested in... fun things, like my children and all the stuff they do, and also boring things, like paying a mortgage, but they are all important things.

So now I don't follow ALL OF THE SPORTS, just SOME OF THE SPORTS. And soccer has been pushed out of my brain, like that time Homer Simpson took the wine-making course and forgot how to drive.

And so with the excuses out of the way, here is my All-Time Socceroos XI...



This team lines up in 4-2-3-1, which I could suggest is because I'm all over modern formations and tactics, but it's really because it best fits the players I wanted.

GK: Mark BOSNICH
It's obvious that history will remember Mark Schwarzer as Australia's greatest 'keeper, because he played about one million games for the Socceroos and made the penalty shootout saves to get Australia into the World Cup in 2006 after 32 long years, but... peak-Bozza is just better.

He was one of the best in the EPL at Aston Villa, when they were still a biggish club, and briefly the first choice with the gloves at Manchester United, when they were arguably the biggest team in the world.

I think it's fair to say this is
 not a good look.

Of course, he was also a nutcase that threw a fascist salute and ended up destroying his career in two stages: the first stage was being lazy, and the second stage went up his nose.

RB: Brett EMERTON
Played for Sydney Olympic, then captained Australia at the Sydney Olympics, before embarking on a successful decade long career in Europe. Probably more of a right-mid player, who was fashioned into a right-back for the 2006 World Cup campaign out of necessity.

Honourable mention: Lucas Neill, captain of the 2006 World Cup team. Could also play centre-back. It was definitely a penalty against Italy though.

CB: Milan IVANOVIC and Craig MOORE
Ivanovic emigrated to Australia from the former Yugoslavia as an established player - he went on to anchor the Socceroos throughout most of the 1990s.

Moore captained Scottish powerhouse Rangers to a treble, then was sidelined when he chose country over club.

LB: Scott CHIPPERFIELD
A personal favourite - I loved Chippers when he was the pacy left winger and best player in the Wollongong Wolves back-to-back NSL title seasons, all while working part-time as a bus driver because the NSL didn't pay all the bills.

Pictured: Chipperfield, parking the bus. Works on two levels.
Firstly because he was a bus driver, and secondly because
"parking the bus" is soccer lingo for being ultra-defensive.
I've probably over-explained this now.

The rest of his career - 12 seasons in Europe and two World Cups as a starting left-back - is incredible. The only thing I might've believed less back in 2000 than Chippers future career trajectory is if you'd predicted that Poida from Fast Forward would become a Hollywood A-lister.

Honourable mention: Stan Lazaridis, who was my favourite Socceroo before Chippers. Like Chippers, could also push up to left wing.

DMC: Paul OKON and Ned ZELIC
I don't know exactly why these two seemingly never played together for the Socceroos. Okon's injuries and Zelic's volatility wouldn't have helped, but politics is bound to be the main reason.

Probably could've surfed
for England, tbh.

RW: Craig JOHNSTON
There are two Craig Johnston quotes I remember.

The best known is when he said playing soccer for Australia would be like "surfing for England", which has probably haunted him to this day. He never played for either country in the end.

The better, more accurate quote is when he described himself as, "the worst player in the best team in the world."

Australia would love to have something near the worst player in the best team in the world at their disposal now.

Imagine a Socceroo playing regularly for Manchester City, or Real Madrid, or Bayern Munich? Unbelievable. But Johnston was a regular starter in a Liverpool team that won the European Cup and English first division titles for fun. He also scored a goal in an FA Cup final to win the League/Cup double.

Honourable mention: Mark Bresciano, a class player in Serie A and for the national team for a long time.

AMC: Tim CAHILL
Cahill is not the best ever Australian player, but he is the best ever for the Socceroos.

I expect in this World Cup that, making only cameo substitute appearances and having not played decent regular football for a long time, he will still be the most important player in the green and gold. It's psychological now, willpower and self-belief over form and ability. Like aging Wally Lewis in State of Origin, or fat Ian Botham in the Ashes, he just lifts the team before doing anything, and then has the knack for doing something decisive from nowhere.

And if he finds the back of the net during this World Cup, he will become the fourth player to score a goal in four World Cup finals. The others? German strikers Seeler and Klose, and a guy from Brazil called Pele.

LW: Harry KEWELL
Probably the popular choice for the best ever Australian player. Kewell at Leeds was something else - legitimately world class, one of the best young players in the EPL, and possibly the world.

Australia didn't make the 2002 World Cup. England did, and played Emile Heskey at left-half. Kewell would've walked into that starting side, and most others in the tournament.

Then he went to Liverpool, and got injured a lot, and wasn't quite the same player.

ST: Mark VIDUKA
Most people would say Kewell is the most technically gifted Australian soccer player ever, but I think you could make the case for Viduka.

Dukes did incredible things as a teenager in the NSL, then had his moments at Scottish giants Celtic and for Leeds in the EPL - like four goals in one game against Liverpool.

Then he went to Middlesbrough, and got lazy and fat a lot, and wasn't quite the same player.

And yet neither went downhill as fast as Leeds Utd itself.