Halloween 2016

"When is it which day?", asked R.

"Which day? Which day are you taking about?", I said.

"Which day."

"Which day?"

"Which day."

"Which day?"

This went on for awhile.

Then he said, "which day where you get the pumpkin buckets and knock on doors to get chocolate."

"Oh, WITCH Day! Halloween, you mean. It's next Monday."

"Yeah. Witch Halloween Day."

Here's a recap of Halloween 2016, starring R & J.

Stuff My Kids Say, Part One

I'm back to mine the rich seam of comedy gold my two oldest boys provide. They are twins. This may or may not be a picture of them:

With twins you could say we have... a Full House.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!1!

I've previously documented their best stuff in the Toddlers series: see parts one, two, three, four and
five.

Here's the latest...

NRL Grand Final Diary 2016

I watched the NRL Grand Final and wrote stuff down at the same time. Here is some of it.

It was an epic contest between Melbourne Man-In-A-Cloud
and The Shire Aquariums.

The Childcare Commute

What happens on the commute, stays on the commute. Until now. These are real things that really happened to me earlier in the week.

Last Weekend One Of My Kids Shoved A Blueberry Up His Nose

DANGER~!

NRL Ladder Prediction 2016 - Revisted

At the start of the season, I tried to predict the NRL final ladder positions.

Last year, I scored myself just 6 from 16 on predictions. Can I do better this time?

Here's the final scorecard for 2016...

Toilet Training

These are amusing anecdotes from my experiences in toilet training twin boys.

When I started writing these down, it was a much darker piece. The opening line in my second draft was:

Toilet training is probably the worst thing about having children.

This was a more positive tone than my first draft, which began:

Why can a dumb animal like a cat learn to use a litter tray over a weekend, yet my children are still waiting to put on a nappy so they can shit themselves instead of using the toilet after seven months?

Then this week, it all started working! No accidents. No nappies for afternoon sleep. Going to the toilet when asked. Going when not asked.

I don't know how. I can still offer no advice on successfully toilet training children, even though it is mostly done. The whole experience has left me with more questions than answers.

If you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you.

But now these are all lighthearted moments that I can look back upon and laugh!

Until the eight-week-old is a toddler at least.