All The Hats I've Eaten - 2018

Presenting my annual fine dining tally, based on the latest Good Food Guide.

At the end of last year I was at 29 restaurants and 42 hats eaten.

This year I'm at...

My Christmas Wish Is Good Health For All

Or: how I injured myself at the last holiday celebration in the most ridiculous way imaginable.

Aussies in the NBA - Power Rankings~!

A few months ago, I looked at the mathematics of the NBA draft lottery. Now that the NBA season has commenced, let's continue with the numbers through official* power rankings of Aussies in the NBA~!

*Actually unofficial

Pictured: The first Aussie in the NBA, the
 legend LUC LONGLEY~! Plus some other guy.

But before we start, I present to you...

The official Aussies in the NBA drinking game
Skol every time you read:

• South Sudanese born
• Son of NBL import...

Without these two things, Australian basketball looks a lot less healthy.

Ranking the Australian Male Cricketers, 2018-19

It's time to rank the current Australian male cricketers again!

I ranked all of them in 2015-16 and 2016-17, then kept it to a more sensible 20 (plus 10 honourable mentions) in 2017-18. For season 2018-19, I've decided to stick with thirty players again.

This is a ranking favouring "red ball" cricket - Test matches and Sheffield Shield. I may (or may not) do a Big Bash League listing later in the summer.

Eligibility is all cricketers that have played Sheffield Shield through the opening four rounds, or have been unavailable for Sheffield Shield in that period due to Australia T20 committments.

That means pretty much everyone was considered, except these three guys, for some reason:

Put your OLED's out.

Now here is the list, and like an expertly sandpapered ball, we are going reverse...

Stuff My Kids Say, Part 17

Pictured, from left to right: J, O, R

I was on the train last week with my three boys - we were coming home from work and child care respectively. As per usual, I gave the boys each a banana to eat. They were slightly green, not quite ripe. J soon discovered how this makes them more difficult to peel.

He frustratingly cried out, "I can't peel this bloody banana!"

I quietly suggested he ask for help next time.

At that point, as I avoided eye contact with other passengers, I decided it was really time for another edition of Stuff My Kids Say. Recently, I gave toddler O his turn in the spotlight. However, it's been so long since R and J got a run, that some of the stories in this come from a time when we had a different prime minister!

(Okay, so it hasn't been that long. This is Australia, after all.)

So here are some selected tales of the last four months or so. I've had to edit out some stories I collected in this period for brevity. Other stories have been cut because I can't make sense of my shorthand notes from so long ago. So unfortunately we will never know why J said, "I'm not an octopus!"...

Bloody octopus bananas.

The Scream

The Scream happened in the early hours of the morning, about one week ago...

Dramatisation of the events.

Stuff My Kids Say, Part 16 - Toddler O Special Edition!

I thought it was time to give the youngest - soon to be middle - kid his big break and dedicate an entire blog entry to his escapades.

NRL Grand Final 2018

MELBOURNE STORM vs SYDNEY ROOSTERS

Sunday 30th September 2018

On NRL Grand Final Day, I reposted all my previous NRL grand final entries to my Facebook page (give it a like!).

The 2018 edition combines the best elements of the three earlier editions:

• It's really late, like 2015's The Latest and Best Review of the NRL Grand Final You Will Ever Read;
• It's in a diary format, like NRL Grand Final Diary 2016; and
• Uhh, it has words and pictures about the game, like NRL Grand Final 2017 (I was struggling to extend the introduction).

Let's get to this!

BIG NEWS~!

I'm so excited to announce that on the weekend we bought an eight-seat Kia Carnival...

And also, the reason we did that is because we are having a fourth child due in late-February 2019.

The Real NRL Champion for 2018 is Already Decided

There are six teams left in the NRL finals - by the way, my Week 2 Finals tips are the Sharks and the Rabbitohs - but the holders of the NRL championship belt bowed out last week...

NRL Ladder Prediction 2018 - Revisted

The NRL regular season is finished, which means it's time to review my fearless 2018 predictions.

And yes, along the way I will also score against THE RANDOM LADDER and see who wins!

Pictured: my arch nemesis.

Here are the results...

Climbing Mt. Midoriyama

I already shared this photo to my personal Facebook page, and now here's the story behind the iconic image...

SPILL! SPILL! SPILL!!!

#LIBSPILL 2018

Like a B-grade horror movie, it's ugly and violent and terrible, yet you can't look away.

WATCH OUT, HE'S BEHIND YOU

Like the Melbourne Cup, it's the race that stops the nation, but in this case the cruelty to big, dumb animals is welcomed.

The following is completely apolitical - I'm not taking sides.

I'm simply treating all players with the respect they deserve, and scoring the week like a 12-round boxing match. But instead of three minute rounds, they go for about three hours.

It's the Moderates versus the Conservatives, the Broad Church EXPLODES~! It's Malcolm "President Trumble" Turnbull versus Peter "The Potato" Dutton, WHO WILL WIN?!

(It is actually Scott Morrison that wins, who is somehow both moderate and conservative. But we will get to that later.)

So, having said all that...

The Rob's Blog 138th Post Spectacular

Live, from the Internet -- it's the Rob's Blog 138th post spectacular!

Stuff My Kids Say, Part 15

J helpfully gives O his bottle of milk, while R watches on.

Tuck

A granfalloon is a proud and meaningless association of human beings - Kurt Vonnegut

I was checking out the news a few weeks ago, when I saw this headline:

"Hey, that's my last name!", my internal monologue cried.

And although I don't know Wendy, and I'm not aware of any blood relationship between us, I was irrationally pleased that someone I shared a surname with had achieved something newsworthy.

It was really stupid.

Maybe if my last name was Smith or Jones, I wouldn't have felt the same way?

Anyway in tribute to Wendy and her boat thing, here is a definitive list of the 10 most notable Tuck's ever.

It's a very proud and meaningless association of human beings. Credit to Wikipedia for most of the information and images.

Review: NRL Family Membership

This Saturday, the St. George-ILLAWARRA Dragons play the New Zealand Warriors in Wollongong, in a match for the rugby league championship belt.

It is the also the final NRL match this season in our three-game family membership, where we take the twins R and J to the footy (O has been deemed too young at this stage). 

Here are some of the highlights from the first two matches we attended...

Kids Dictionary

I've written a lot of stuff on funny things my kids say (and do); it's up to 19 entries.

What I haven't done previously is compile a list of unique words they use. So here is the Kids Dictionary.

Note that these are not things they can't say correctly - like when kids say "sketti" or "hoptible" - because that would be mean. These are errors in pronouncing words, or creative inventions when they didn't know the actual word, that they've kept saying because it got a laugh.

The kid who says it is in brackets, next to the word - it'll be R, J, or O. Usually it is J. That kid does not give a f--- about the conventions of the English language.

Pictured (left to right): R, O, J

Review: Seven Station Swing Set

You know what's fun for kids? A seven station swing set!

Seven Station Swing Set: It's fun AND alliterative!
Photo: KMart website

You know what's not fun for adults?

Stuff My Kids Say, Part 14

Welcome to the 14th update of Stuff My Kids Say. But first a pic of my three boys:

And they do have an Uncle Dave...

1.
R was upset at me because I wouldn't let him do something. He yelled, "if you were an adult, you'd let me do what I want!"

I laughed, because I'm thinking, it's because I'm an adult I won't let you do whatever you want.

Then before I could say anything further, he added, "you're not an adult, you're just a man who doesn't know anything!"

And now I'm thinking, shit, he's onto me!

A List of All the Successful Careers Launched by The Voice

Oh yeah, there's a World Cup on! So here's an All-Time Socceroos XI, instead of any topical content.

And by "All-Time", I actually mean all the time Rob's Blog has watched soccer.

And by "Socceroos XI", I definitely mean wearing these jerseys:

BRING THEM BACK!

But before we get to the greatest Australian team ever assembled, I should state that I had planned to write something leading into the World Cup, like a real media outlet would, but in the end my lack of interest in the event overcame my imagined sense of journalistic obligation.

While I'm sure the World Cup will grow on me like a benign tumour over the next month, I have also thought about why I don't care right now.

Is modern soccer too much of a business? Is it ethical reservations about hosting a World Cup in an authoritarian state like Russia? Are Australia just too ordinary?

In the end, I just decided I've reached my capacity for being interested in things. It used to be easy to follow ALL OF THE SPORTS, then I got older and other things have arisen to be interested in... fun things, like my children and all the stuff they do, and also boring things, like paying a mortgage, but they are all important things.

So now I don't follow ALL OF THE SPORTS, just SOME OF THE SPORTS. And soccer has been pushed out of my brain, like that time Homer Simpson took the wine-making course and forgot how to drive.

And so with the excuses out of the way, here is my All-Time Socceroos XI...

The Art Gallery III

It's been about four months since the last showing at the Gallery. In that time, I think R's interest in drawing has waned slightly, but J is still going strong. You'll also notice a bit of an improvement over time.

Previous exhibits are HERE and HERE.

Official Unofficial NSW State of Origin Team

The last three seasons I have been critical of the New South Wales selectors when it comes time for them to name the State of Origin team by leaking it to The Daily Telegraph 24 hours before the official announcement.

But I recognise that criticism is very easy and very fun. But what if I was the one responsible for the fate of the footy fortunes of an entire state? That would probably be very hard and very fun. So considering my complete lack of accountability, this season I've put my money where my mouth is, and named the Official Unofficial NSW State of Origin Team.

NSW Blues... or NSW Blue Steel, amirite?

The NBA Draft Lottery

From the blog that bought you analysis on:

• the value of penalty goals in rugby league*;
• when Melbourne would overtake Sydney as Australia's largest city;
• how Melbourne Cup betting works; and
• the Commonwealth Games medal tally, per capita

comes the latest in QUICK MAFFS~!

A look at the NBA Draft Lottery...


*and the NRL has totally caught up to this thinking in the 2018 season, I'm taking all the credit for it.

Stuff My Kids Say, Part 13

We reached a milestone recently. The youngest, O, can now open doors and NOTHING IS SAFE ANYMORE!

Dramatisation, may not have happened this way.

And here is O chilling with his older twin brothers, R and J.

Would've been a better family pic if I'd been facing the camera.

Their previous adventures can be found by following the link to "Kids", somewhere over there ------>

NRL 300 Club Rankings, Part Two

Introducing the Top Ten best players to have played 300 NRL matches.

The other 21 are covered HERE, from John Morris in 31st through to Cooper Cronk in 11th.

I actually searched for a pic of John Morris and Cooper Cronk together. It was a long shot, and nothing came up - but Google did find this meme...

Two comments on this:

1. I can't believe there's some Tigers/NRL fan that actually made this; and
2. To answer the question... yeah, nah.

The match totals for the Top Ten are correct the end of Round 8, 2018.

That time I slept in a park because I was sick and have children

Let me explain.

Comm Games Medal Table, Per Capita

A cursory google reveals a complete absence of statistical attempts to devise weighted medal tables for the 2018 Commonwealth Games.

So I've done it.

I've chosen to go with a weighted medals per capita, like in this Olympic Games analysis, where a gold medal is worth four points, a silver two points, and a bronze one point.

Population metrics are from the United Nations World Population Prospects, the 2017 Revision (via Wikipedia). For Australia I've subtracted the Norfolk Island population, as they are a separate entity for the Games. For the United Kingdom, I've prorated the 2017 population into England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland using earlier splits.

And after all that, the per capita winner is...

Stuff My Kids Say, Part 12

I thought about changing this series of blogs from Stuff My Kids Say, Part 12 to SMKS12.

Like how New Kids On The Block became NKOTB and went onto bigger and better things from there.

As always, these are actual things my actual kids said. They are pictured below. Stories are laid out step by step, it's the right stuff.

R, O and J

The Real Victim in the Ball Tampering Scandal

Firstly, are we still calling this the 'ball tampering scandal'? It should have a name that draws upon Watergate by now, like all notable scandals.

#BallGate
#TamperGate
#TapeGate

Maybe it has happened, and I missed it?

If not, we need a consensus on this.

Aside from that, let's talk about the real victim here...

On Ball Tampering

The Australian cricket team finally crossed the line. It turned out the line was made from adhesive tape, and the headbutt went straight through it.

This has led to some measured and reasoned national discourse...

NRL 300 Club Rankings, Part One

In round 1, Thurston played his 300th first grade game. In round 2, it was Billy Slater's turn to reach the milestone. In round 3, they play each other. Where do they fit with the other 29 players to have made the '300 Club'?

This is part one, and will cover 31 down to 11, before part two has the Top Ten.

Match totals are correct to Round 2, 2018.

I Own Nine Books

We fixed up our home study recently. It was a nice improvement. I can now dial into work video conferences from home, without having to push boxes we never unpacked and unfolded baskets of clean clothes out of camera view.

There was some collateral damage though.

To create space, I got rid of almost all my books. These nine are the only ones I still possess...

NRL Ladder Prediction 2018

This is my fourth year at the NRL Ladder Predictions.

My previous three attempts haven't been very good.

After last season, it was suggested on my Facebook page (like it now!) that I should compare my predictions against a dartboard.

I've taken that feedback onboard.

While I don't own a dartboard, in that spirit, this season it is ROB vs THE RANDOM LADDER...

Stuff My Kids Say, Part Eleven

I have three boys, they say things. Here is a picture of us, I'm the old guy:

AND ALL THE OTHER STUFF MY KIDS SAY IS FOUND HERE.

Gold Coast Titans are the Real NRL Champions

Last night, the Melbourne Storm represented the NRL in the World Club Championship against English Super League champions Leeds Rhinos. They won 38-4 to become world club champions. 

There is one problem with this. The Storm aren't even the real Australian club champions.

Because the Gold Coast Titans are the real NRL champions. Here's how...

The true pride of the National Rugby League

BBL07 Best XI

Here is the Rob's Blog official unofficial BBL07 Best XI! (BBL06 Best XI HERE, BBL05 Best XI HERE). As with the franchises, I've limited it to two imports.

This is the third season I've selected a BBL Best XI, and season 07 was the hardest selection yet...

The Art Gallery II

The sequel to the earlier post about the things my two eldest boys draw.

The 5 Best Australian of the Year Awards

Two years ago, I looked at The 10 Worst Australian of the Year Awards.

But what about the best?

I'll limit it to a top five. Starting with a fine musician...

Tennis Hot Takes~!

I watched parts of the first day of the Australian Open, so I'm now a certified tennis expert, just like everyone else in this country during January.

Such an expert that I now call it a
 "racquet" instead of a netty-stick.

And I have ideas and opinions about tennis that must be heard!

Stuff My Kids Say, Part Ten

I knew it was time to write another one of these when I looked up and saw R was wearing a ninja turtle mask, while J accompanied him in a rousing rendition of the song "Ninja Bells"...

Ninja bells, ninja bells, ninja all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse ninja sleigh!

Previous happenings with twins R and J can be found HERE. This time I also have a cameo from toddler O.

Yours truly pictured with my three sons.

All these quotes happened a couple of weeks each side of Christmas.